8.

I

find myself

in dust

particles

floating

in air

in the

shadows

of tall

trees

I

am

held in

together

by my

own tight

skin

by

looking

in to

who

I

am

7.

Maybe

if just once

I was the one up there

with the microphone

and perfect hair

talking about hunger

and natural disasters

Or maybe

if I was the

one in the front

who reached in my wallet

for a twenty

and was the very first

to come to the altar

Or perhaps

if I spoke

Spanish

or French

Or went to

chapel

on Thursday

nights

Or spent

more

time in

the Library

Or if I had

one of those

t-shirts

or a weekly

byline

Or maybe

just anything

with a name

on it

something

to belong to

someone to be

maybe then

it would be

easier

to breathe

?

6.

Sometimes breathing

is harder

than it looks.

Sometimes seeing

isn't just

having eyes open.

Sometimes hearing

takes more

than picking up vibrations.

Sometimes

its about quiet,

about looking at

yourself

when no one is around,

to tell you

you're better than

you think you are.

Sometimes its about

realizing

that love comes

with the pain

of realizing

breathing isn't easy

seeing is more than

just a look

and hearing takes more

than open ears.

Sometimes it's the

moments

when you realize

you're exactly

what you thought

you were,

that you breathe in,

seek for and long to hear

the sounds of hope,

the sounds of the ultimate

redemption,

of the only one

who makes

breathing

and

seeing

and

hearing

exactly what they are.

5.

If words were enough

I'd write them here

fingers flying

until thoughts

met paper

in a beautiful

unifying

sensations

of feeling

of emotions

mixed with

too much to

say and nothing

to explain the

truth of moments

bigger than

words and paper

big enough to fit

in a phrase

that means more

than the lines

that contain it

because if words

were enough

I would keep

on forever

but all I can

say is

I'm new.